Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Uncle's Mail 2 me when I said him, ' I started Drinking'

My Uncle, he has been a very close friend, an advisor and a philosopher. When I mailed him about my drinking activity, he replied me something which I feel is very helpful not only to me but also to those who read this blog.
Dear Chinu, 
I am rather pleased to note that you took me into confidence to confide that you had your initiation
into drinking.
The first thing that came to my mind was an advertisement put up by a beverage company in Europe, where a teenager was shown asking his parents " when shall I be 18 Mom?".Though an ad, it carries a lot of significance. Drinking at an age below 18 is an offense in those countries. So, one has to wait till one reaches the age of 18 to be legally able to take his first gulp of the 'holy water'.
 It can also be viewed from another angle. If one took drinks means  he has attained the age of 18- the critical age of adolescence. It brings with it freedom,  consolidating thoughts about and of life, a streak for adventure and more importantly, the courage to take responsibility for oneself.
You must have thought at lest twice before taking that great leap into the world of drinks.
So, I am not baffled , nor too casual in receiving that piece of news.

But I wish to make a few points here. First and foremost, drinking is not bad as such. Michael Jefferson, the second President of the USA refused to sign a congressional resolution asking him to impose more tax on alcohol. He thought he would be doing an injustice to the society if he prevented people from drinking. Philosophers, poets, literatures, artists have spent tons of ink and color eulogizing wine and its use. Lets not therefore attach any inhibition to it.
Then, what it is bad about it that people still love to despise booze? If you were to say this to your father, he would not be expected to react very kindly.He would start getting nightmares.Why is it  taboo for the society?
The problem lies in the use and with the users. They have created such glaring examples of ruin and devastation of themselves that the society at large is terrified for generations and has become stigmatic about it. Kingdoms have been lost,societies corrupted and exploited for centuries, pools of talent wasted and countless people and their families brought to the street because of the menace of drinking.

Strange myths are associated with drinks and drunkards.
There are a few facts as well associated with it.
*  Every boozer drinks his first as last and last as first.
* It starts as a boon and ends up as a bane.
* It is 'holy water', so also 'hell water'

It matters how you handle it, how you have profiled it and how you wish to go with it.
A person makes a habit of drinking only when he is not label  to make any other habit, As long as you retain your creative faculties, neither I nor YOU need worry about it.

But then I must remind you, it is a sliding path. The more you decline, ascending becomes the more difficult.
All this apart, no one can deny you your right to the ecstasy, fantasy and fun associated with drinking.
Prudence  lies in drinking with conscience.
My advice, therefore, to you is - Drink your conscience.

As long as you do that, you prevent yourself from running the risk of being into it, as you have said it yourself

Now, let me divulge you something from my part. All these inferences are not borrowed but heard earned.

Have fun


Thanks Uncle.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


I am talking about the Grunge band not of the moksha.

I was listening to it in the morning as music has become a part of my life. Like every day one gets up, does his teeth, takes bath and does other things; I get up, turn on my laptop and play songs.  whenever I listen to the voice of Kurt Cobain, the lead vocal of the band I feel like I am getting Nirvana. The songs are full of pain and the aggression, they are singing the songs of their painful life. there are songs really touch the heart.

the songs, i feel, give a real picture of life.  Though the band has not got too many albums but their work during the short period of time is very significant. It was the best grunge band of that time.They threw the anger and frustration in voice, guitar and drum beats.

There are these songs which I listen most of the time and I suggest others to listen to the band. Feel them and U will find how magical the songs are.

1. Rape me
2 Smells like teen spirit
3. Heart shaped box
4. milk it
5. breed
6. sliver
7. come as u are
8. something in the way
9. Aneurysm
10. Where did U sleep last night
11. Lithium
12. On a plain
13. pennroyal tea
14. come as u are

Don't forget to watch the last concert of Nirvana, it is in Youtube

Listen to Nirvana & get Nirvana.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Solution & Problem

Chemical solution? No. As an engineering student, I have been dealing with mathematics, physics, mechanics and thermodynamics.  They all have got problems.
I am not talking about any such kind of problem, solving them for years I am sick. I am sick.
I have the hope to visit London, England. It is a beautiful place. Yet I visit it everyday. And for last ten days I visit very frequently thanks to dysentery.  Ye, I term toilet as ‘London’. You cannot go there always. The British   ruled our country for a long time. At least show them some respect.
For last ten days 12 to 14 times a day to London, my frail body has become very weak. From lower abdomen to toe every part of body in the region is aching with severe pain. Unable to eat anything, nothing is going through mouth into the stomach. I saw the doctor, ate the prescribed medicines and did whatever I was capable of. Still not helping. I broke into tears, can bear the pain no more. Being unable walk and go anywhere I missed three exams.
It has shattered my courage.  In 3 to 4 days people break in dysentery.  I am in that situation for last 10 days. I was in better condition just for a day due to the medicines but the condition is same again as before.
Again to doctor. I prayed God, which I at least never do for myself. This time I had to be selfish. I cried. Nothing happened.
Then I got a solution. The knife for cutting fruits was lying on my table. I took it in my hands, with my head down. I thought death is the supreme friend. Let me slit my throat and rest in peace after the momentary pain.
I was a very courageous person till now, can try anything. But others have the courage to live at any situation and I lack that. A real coward I am.
Suicide, human beings commit in many situations. I have read a lot about it. I am forced by the circumstances.
What else can I do? Cannot withstand such terrible pain, lying in bed, unable to walk and eat.
So decided to end up the miserable condition. I am brave enough to do that.  But a lot of things stopped me. Attachments. They are real troubles. The hopes of my parents, my own dreams, what happens to them if I die? Ok, I can murder my dreams with myself.
My parents? They grew me up for 22 years, I cannot escape like that. I will kill their desires and dreams with myself?
With permission?  Let me ask my parents that I want to suicide. How would they feel I don’t know?
I have high hopes, bigger dreams.  In life I want to do something significant.  But all will be burnt with me, if I die.
The solution came with hell lot of problems. Seriously ill I am. Don’t know what will be the consequences. Diseases are good at installments; a full package is very dangerous. In 7 to 8 years I am suffering like this.
Tears drifted down my cheeks and fell on the bed sheet and they disappeared. No one bothers where they went. I came on earth like a common man, everyday babies are born. Never had I wished to die being a common man, like the tear.
Mother Earth, I am grateful to you. Dreams, desires, hopes take birth on earth, they grow bigger and bigger, no matter how high they reach, return to the same earth again.
I may die. But don’t want to be hopelessly hopeful.
Still, if I die, please send me back to earth again to be reborn.
(on 28th March I wrote it being helpless and hopeless)
Hope drives man insane and after 25 days of suffering I am alive.