Saturday, February 28, 2009

MAKE YOURSELF FREE

When you have lost everything and you are having nothing to lose then you have no fear.

We fear because we have got something, first life then all other things comes in account. We fear to do a lot of things which we require to do. Or we need courage to do, but the confusion in mind is," What happens if I do this? Whether I am going to lose something after doing that?” The substance that is to lose may be anything like life, reputation , money,career, family and a lot of parameters are there to hold us back. The substance that you are afraid to not part from yourself depends upon what you are and in which situation you are in.

When you have nothing to lose because you have nothing of your own or you have lost every thing, you can do whatever you want, as you have become free. After losing everything what left with you is your body and your life. When you lose everything, when you make yourself free from the materialistic things and beings, you have got no mare to part from you. Do whatever you want. Life is there today and won’t be with you tomorrow. Be care free and live, because you have got nothing to care for and try to lose everything. That would help you live a life with out caring for anything.

And a freedom from fear .

Thursday, February 26, 2009

FEELINGS OF MY HEART

I think of you.

I was the only person present there, three kilometers away from the crowded locality. That was a lonely abandoned bridge, the condition of which was not better, battered by the causes that are essential for life, wind and water. The place was very silent; no noise of town dared touch it. I sat there listening to the chirping voice of birds and the babbling of flowing water that evening. The sky was blue and the patches of snow white cloud wandered astray as the rain was over a few hours ago. The cool breeze touched me and passed. The location was surrounded by hills with not high altitude. Around me was greenery but there were no trees. My bicycle was parked just near me. I enjoyed the lonely peace of the place. I wished you were with me at that very moment, just me and you. I was happy there. It was 6.10 p.m. by my watch and I had to go. Before that I decided to walk along the bridge.

My mobile interrupted as it rang breaking the silence of the place. I took the call.

I wanted to ride back but after having the conversation I did not feel the joy of doing it anymore. I preferred to walk, moving the bicycle by my side. My steps were slower than normal. I felt as if I was dragging a heavy weight that was tied to my legs. My head and heart both were heavy. It seemed my heart just sank in the water. No one around me, the long empty road was in front of me and I had to walk, though.

In my mind the storm of thoughts had raised, quite unstoppable. They were straight from the heart, because it had become a rebel, because something had to end which was yet to begin. The message from my friend was ringing in my ears.

“How can u do that?”I thought. I argued with myself. But that was the truth. In the dynasty of destiny I was the unfortunate.

I wish I could have said those words to you. But the time never provided me time to do that and you walked away. You don’t know that I love you. You are ignorant about how much I love you.

The day I discovered on earth, you were so simple and seriously beautiful. That day something happened to me. I wanted to know your name. When I came to know about you and your name, it did magic to me. I don’t know how it happened. I don’t know when it occurred. I know not the way I fell for you. The day I fell for you I am going deeper and deeper. And my love for you is smoother than the smoothness of feather; it is deeper than the depth of ocean.

Before I saw you I hated to love, but my view changed thanks to you. There is a different attraction in your name. I love the way you are beautified. I love those eyes, I love to kiss those early morning rose red lips. I adore the slim figure of yours. I fancy for the way you walk, I love the way you smile, that gives bloom to thousands of roses. You are blessed with such mysterious beauty, that no character of Shakespeare has the same nor could he describe it.

Whenever I open a book, I read you. When I think you are in my thoughts. I close my eyes and it is not dark there but you. I sense your pervasiveness around me. I feel you in breathe. You flow in my blood. Your thoughts surround me always and never let me be alone. You reside in my heart.

In the morning I got up and opened the window of my room. I found the small hills which were visible from my home were misted up. At that very moment I felt the quintessence of you. I missed you then. I wished I could wander with you at such a time. I would love to walk with you hand in hand in the romantic weather.

I want to go to the wildest enormity in your love. I am intended to commit the greatest ever mistake of my life for you or be in sheer madness in your love. I want to be passionate in your love.

When I had gone on a picnic with my friends to the coastal area, on the sea shore on the sand I had written ‘I love you’ and your name, the name of my beloved. If the water erases it, I thought, would return me my love, because the sea returns what it takes. Once I had heard that the wish made seeing a falling star comes true and till today when ever I see a falling star I wish you to be my life partner. I may be superstitious but I don’t care. I would give you every happiness that you crave for. I want to kiss you. I want to hug you. I will take every pain of you away from you. I long for talking to you for hours and share my feelings with you. I would like to hear from you for long hours as your sweet tone of voice has a song in it, even the nightingale fails before you. I wish to keep you in front of my eyes forever. The sun retires him in the evening; even the moon vanishes from the sky one day periodically but I will be always delighted to see you before me. Your sensuous exquisite face shines brightly and gives the coolness of moon light to my heart. I am enchanted when I find you in my eyes. The smile on your face brings smile to me.

When I am tensed and disturbed, I utter the two words that consists your name continuously and slowly in my heart and mind. That magnificently magical beauteous name of you makes me really feel better than before. The day my friend told me about you, I don’t know why but I cried, two drops of precious tears came out which I had never done at least for a girl. But you were the one. That day I realized I was going to encounter a great loss of my life; I was going to lose someone that is you only, who was never mine. Yet my heart and soul I have made for you only. I tried; I have tried hard to hate you for some reason. Alas I could do that, it was impossible for me. Rather I loved you more and more. Because in the soft corners of my heart you are there, you are my heart and without a heart it is not possible to live.

To my misfortune, everything happened so swiftly could not but stand still. You are not here with me today. But wherever you are, I pray you be better and happier there. There is a long way to walk in life and somewhere on the path of life, I hope, I will meet you an express the feelings of my heart, I love you.

chinmay Kumar